the endearing complications of love.

I hate weakness and vulnerability. Being a girl, I’m already told I’m weaker than men. I’m more emotional, more loving, more open, more…vulnerable. I’m seriously already asking for it. And although loving somebody can be fun and weird and beautiful, it leaves me feeling like an idiot. like…i’m setting myself up for a letdown. Every time I realize I care for somebody, romantically or not, I see how I’ve taken my heart and laid it out on a table for people to play with. So sometimes I bury it further, like i did for the past….three years. And now that I’m learning to love, it feels incredibly strange. And that’s all I can say! Pretty pitiful.

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3 responses to “the endearing complications of love.

  1. No worries, you’re just growing up. I find it cool that you’re able to open up your heart after 3 years. I took mine and beat it to death, then buried it 3 miles underground in a voice-coded, DNA-sensitive vault made from a solid block of diamond-titanium alloy. Sometime I regret it, but sometimes, when I see my (public school) friends and the emotional mush they’re getting themselves into, I think that maybe, just maybe, its not so bad after all. Idk, maybe when I go to college I’ll bring it back to life.

  2. Oh, I’m not going to get myself involved in any relationships. I’m not that stupid. I’m just saying I’m entertaining the idea of love…and it’s a frightening experience.

  3. Still, being able to entertain the possibility…
    *shudders*
    I really can’t do that. Actually, for me, its gotten to the point where its hard to feel anything any more.

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